Never Married at 40? What the Data Actually Shows

If you're single in your late 30s, the number 40 can start to feel like a deadline. The data says it's a much more crowded milestone than it used to be, and a less final one than people assume.

Here's what the numbers show about who's unmarried at 40, how that's changed and what it does and doesn't mean for your odds.

How Many 40-Year-Olds Have Never Been Married?

Richard Fry of Pew Research Center analyzed decennial census and American Community Survey (ACS) data going back to 1850. The ACS samples more than 3 million addresses a year, which allows reliable estimates for a single age.

Pew describes the 2021 figure as a record high for the series, which runs from 1850 to 2021.

Pew's explanation: people born from the 1960s onward have increasingly delayed marriage, and a growing share are forgoing it altogether.

Why Are People Marrying Later?

The broader Census data shows the same shift from a different angle. The Census Bureau estimated the median age at first marriage in 2024 was 30.2 for men and 28.6 for women, up from 23.1 and 21.1 in 1974. In 2024, 34% of Americans 15 and older had never been married.

When the typical first marriage happens around 30, a long tail of people marrying in their late 30s and 40s follows naturally. Our post on age gaps and marriage timing covers how that looks across regions and why big cities skew later.

Are Never-Married 40-Year-Olds in Relationships?

Some are, but most aren't living with a partner. Using the Census Bureau's 2022 Current Population Survey, Pew found 22% of never-married adults ages 40 to 44 were cohabiting.

That leaves most never-married people in their early 40s not living with a romantic partner. The data can't say how many are dating, in relationships while living apart or not looking at all. Whether single adults are actually trying to date is a separate question, and this data doesn't answer it.

If you're weighing whether to move in with someone first, our breakdown of living together before marriage looks at what the research says about cohabitation and later outcomes.

Who Is Most Likely to Be Unmarried at 40?

Pew's 2021 figures break down by demographic group:

• Gender: A higher share of 40-year-old men than women had never married. The short read doesn't give the specific figures in its text.
• Race and ethnicity: Black 40-year-olds were much more likely to have never married than Hispanic, White and Asian 40-year-olds.
• Education: The gap here is large.

There's a twist in the education data. College graduates are more likely to have married, and the share of 40-year-olds with at least a bachelor's degree more than doubled, from 18% in 1980 to 39% in 2021. You might expect that to push the never-married share down. It didn't. The overall trend toward later and less marriage was strong enough to outweigh it.

Can You Still Get Married After 40?

Yes, and a meaningful share of people do. Looking at people who were 40 and had never married in 2001, Pew found about one in four had married by age 60. If the pattern holds, a similar share of today's never-married 40-year-olds will marry in the coming decades.

Read that number carefully. It doesn't mean your personal odds are one in four. That figure includes people who weren't looking, people who chose not to marry and people in long-term unmarried partnerships. For someone actively trying to find a partner, the relevant question is less about population averages and more about how effectively they're meeting people. That's also why the share of 40-year-olds who are never married shouldn't be read as the share who "couldn't" marry.

What Do Americans Think Is the Best Age to Marry?

Attitudes have loosened along with behavior. In an April 2024 Pew survey of 3,600 U.S. adults:

• About half said there's no best age to get married.
• 23% said 25 to 29 is the best age; around one in ten said 20 to 24, and a similar share said 30 to 34.
• Among those who named an age, the average was 26.5.

So the public's ideal is still well below 40. But the most common answer is that there isn't one, which is a reasonable signal that "behind schedule" carries less social weight than it once did.

What This Means If You're Dating in Your Late 30s

You're in a bigger pool than you think. A quarter of 40-year-olds nationally have never married. Our NYC singles census breakdown shows how the picture looks here, borough by borough.

Be explicit earlier. At 38, the cost of a year-long relationship with someone who wants something different is higher than at 28. Raising the big questions earlier, like whether you want kids, saves time. We cover timing in dating when you want kids.

Change the method, not your standards. If you've been single for a while, the problem usually isn't the bar. It's the volume and quality of introductions. Our comparison of dating in your 30s vs. your 20s in NYC covers what tends to work better later on.

Tenr is built for that stage: invite-only, curated matching and a 10-minute video date before anyone commits an evening.

The Bottom Line

Being unmarried at 40 is more common than at any point in the census record: one in four 40-year-olds in 2021, up from 6% in 1980. Most aren't cohabiting, many will still marry and about half of Americans now say there's no best age to do it. The numbers describe a shift in timing across a whole generation, not a verdict on any one person.

Sources:

• A record-high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married — Richard Fry, Pew Research Center (June 28, 2023), analyzing decennial census, American Community Survey and Current Population Survey data via IPUMS
• Nearly Two-Thirds of U.S. Households are Family Households — U.S. Census Bureau (November 12, 2024), Current Population Survey Annual Social and Economic Supplement
• Best age to get married, have a child, buy a home and retire? Here's what Americans say — Jordan Lippert and Janell Fetterolf, Pew Research Center (March 19, 2025)